the places we go when we’re in the in between
Living & Learning in the Liminal Spaces of Two Realities
This piece was originally published in our monthly print newspaper, The Retreat. To read it in its intended form, check out our newsstand shop here.
photo by reader and integrative nutrition coach
A Healthy Dose of Escapism—a travel column by Alyssa Donato
There are seasons in life when we exist in seemingly liminal space, straddling two realities, and yet fully inhabiting neither. The time before conception, when the desire for motherhood begins to stir but has not yet materialized, is one of those sacred thresholds I have been sitting in for the last year. It has been a time of radical transformation, of waiting, of tender preparation. In this in-between space, I find myself planning journeys—not just physical travels, but soul explorations that honor this fleeting moment before crossing into motherhood.
I have found myself at this threshold at other times in my life. Leaving a long term partnership or quitting a career that no longer resonated with me, this familiar space opens her doors. Each time, I have learned that the in-between is not just about stepping forward into something unknown. It is equally about honoring what is being left behind.
Honoring the Space Between
Mexico City has historically been a place that holds me in the in-between. I first traveled there after a big breakup six years ago, carrying the raw edges of heartbreak with me. The city met me with an open heart, its vibrant energy mirroring the deep transformation happening within me. I wandered through the streets of Coyoacán, letting the colors and chaos fill the spaces that grief had emptied. I sat in quiet cafés, journaling through the uncertainty, sipping café de olla as I tried to understand the woman I was becoming. Mexico City did not rush me forward or pull me back—it simply held me, allowing me to exist fully in the transition. Now, as I prepare to step into motherhood, I feel its familiar call once more—a reminder that the in-between is not something to escape, but something to honor.
Destinations for the In-Between
Each major transition in life calls us to certain lands, places that mirror the alchemy happening within us, offering solace, clarity, and renewal. Whether it’s the end of a relationship, a career shift, or stepping into a new identity, let travel become a ritual for honoring these tender times.
If you find yourself at one of these thresholds, here is some inspiration to keep you going.
Heartbreak: Places that can hold your tender heart, and lands that will feel like a balm to your soul. Mexico, Ecuador, and Indonesia are all places where cacao, the medicine of the heart, is vibrant and growing. They do not rush the grieving process or demand resolution. Instead, they hold the heart with tenderness, reminding us: even in endings, there is sweetness. Even in loss, love still sings through nature.
Career Shifts: Retreats in the desert, like Tucson or Santa Fe, where the vastness of the landscape mirrors the openness of possibility and offers space for reflection and contemplation. Wide open spaces hold the potential for wide open possibilities. As someone who grew up thousands of miles away from a desert, I never understood the allure—until the first time I camped in one and felt like a thousand stars were falling from heaven onto my head. There is a way that our perception shifts to notice the smallest moments, the tiniest growth, and the silence that is offered to us, only in a desert’s landscapes.
Baby on the Way: Intentional travel to places rich with tradition and slowness—like Japan’s ryokans or the Amalfi Coast, where life moves at a pace that allows one to savor every moment before the next chapter unfolds. Finding rhythm in parenting is very different from our normal day-to-day operations. It’s okay to find a slower pace of a city or countryside that allows for more moments of pause. There is a savoring that happens when we can sit in the in-between without having to fill every space with thought, action, or doing.
There is such a deep sacredness in the spaces between. In liminal moments travel becomes more than just movement across landscapes: it becomes a ritual, a way to honor change and make space for what is to come.
Empty Nesting: Coastal towns with deep histories, such as the Scottish Highlands or the coastal villages of Portugal, where one can walk along the shorelines and reflect on the years that have passed, while dreaming of what’s to come. My mother moved to a town like this when we all left the nest. Living right on the coast has been such a refuge for her to sink deeper into her own self.
Life Direction Uncertainty: Sacred lands with strong spiritual energies—like Guatemala or the mountains of Peru—where nature and ritual offer guidance and a sense of grounding in the unknown. Whether it is the sunrise meditations overlooking misty valleys, or simply walking paths that have been traveled for centuries, these destinations help dissolve confusion, bringing clarity through presence. In landscapes where time feels vast and expansive, it becomes easier to surrender, trust, and remember that uncertainty is often the threshold to something greater.
There is such a deep sacredness in the spaces between. In liminal moments when one chapter has ended, but the next has yet to fully take shape. In these transitions, travel becomes more than just movement across landscapes; it becomes a ritual, a way to honor change and make space for what is to come.
Whether seeking solace after heartbreak, finding clarity in a career shift, or preparing for motherhood, the places we journey to can reflect the transformations happening within us. The in-between is not a void to rush through, but a threshold to be honored. It’s a space where we can pause, reflect, and trust that, in time, the path forward will always reveal itself.
Alyssa Donato is an astrogeographer, writer, and guide who blends astrology with the art of travel. Capricorn sun, Virgo rising, and Aquarius moon, Alyssa explores how celestial energies shape our experiences of the world. As the travel columnist for The Retreat, Alyssa offers a cosmic lens on destinations, revealing the astrological magic that can be discovered through the practice of place. Follow her on Instagram @alyssa.donato
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